Aerodynamics and Paper Planes.

No, that has nothing to do with my life right now. Frankly, I was going to come up with some really deep way to work it into my blog, but my mind's not working like that.
I mean, today I was told that my "venting" is hilarious. Which means, the way I talk makes people laugh.
I have no problem with that, don't get me wrong.
I just wish sometimes people would take me seriously when I'm trying to be serious (But I do have to admit that saying "Other than the fact that they are handsome and are a key factor for 'replenishing' the human race, boys suck" is a funny thing).
I love being funny and I love when people laugh at my jokes...

But is that all I am?
Am I going to be cursed with a funny attribute, doomed for all eternity, longing to be an actress or a good enough writer... or just good at something other than being funny?
Because, I have the qualities of an actress, right? I love doing it, and I don't completely suck...
Do I?

I don't know. I do want to try out for Drama 4 (and frankly, I don't really mind if I don't make it into MDT because I really like straight plays with no singing. Although I like the singing and dancing AND acting part of it all, I think straight plays can bring forth so much emotion that, sometimes, musicals cannot) but I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid to audition because if I do, I might not make it in. But then I'd lose that experience to grow on my acting.
I don't know...

I just don't want to be just the funny person anymore.

I think that's why I've been immersing myself into theater lately, because I love it so much. I love being a part of such a bigger thing, and not being a spectator in the audience. Because I'm not Courtney Huffman anymore. I'm a person living their life.
I want to be in tech because I love learning. I love knowing things that I would never knew three years ago, because I was just a weird thirteen year-old girl who thought she knew everything there is to know about theater. I'm so clearly mistaken. I learn new things everyday that I'll keep with me for a lifetime. And I've found out how to be patient. And that's a really hard thing for me to do, if you haven't noticed.

I don't know. I think I just need to get over my fear of failure, because I'll never get anywhere with it looming on my shoulders.
Maybe if I take that first step and try out for Drama 4/Ballroom/MDT, it will go away.
I mean, I tried out for a solo in Choir the other day. I wasn't too nervous. That's the first step.

These teachers here at Lehi High bestow so much self-confidence and courage to do what you don't want to do. I love it, because in ninth grade, I would have NEVER tried out for MDT. I mean, I tried out for Charlie Brown... but that's another story. I was okay with failing. I knew I was going to.
It hurt really bad when I didn't get in Princess and the Pea, but that's because it was a straight play.
But I think I've improved since then.

I really could relate Aerodynamics somehow to this blog, but it's not worth my time, or yours. So goodbye.