Merry Happy!

Hi there everyone... If anybody reads this.
This has been a very nice Christmas, I think.
Jake got what he wanted and a leopard gecko,
I got the Ipod touch I wanted and two cook-
books ("Mastering the Art of French Cooking" by
Julia Child and "Good Eats: The Early Years" by
my favorite tv chef, Alton Brown). Mom, like
always, went above and beyond and got us
more presents than we thought we were getting.

It was a really good Christmas. I loved talking
to Zach' and it was fun having Bonnie and Aaron
Herrmann over for a little bit.

Aerodynamics and Paper Planes.

No, that has nothing to do with my life right now. Frankly, I was going to come up with some really deep way to work it into my blog, but my mind's not working like that.
I mean, today I was told that my "venting" is hilarious. Which means, the way I talk makes people laugh.
I have no problem with that, don't get me wrong.
I just wish sometimes people would take me seriously when I'm trying to be serious (But I do have to admit that saying "Other than the fact that they are handsome and are a key factor for 'replenishing' the human race, boys suck" is a funny thing).
I love being funny and I love when people laugh at my jokes...

But is that all I am?
Am I going to be cursed with a funny attribute, doomed for all eternity, longing to be an actress or a good enough writer... or just good at something other than being funny?
Because, I have the qualities of an actress, right? I love doing it, and I don't completely suck...
Do I?

I don't know. I do want to try out for Drama 4 (and frankly, I don't really mind if I don't make it into MDT because I really like straight plays with no singing. Although I like the singing and dancing AND acting part of it all, I think straight plays can bring forth so much emotion that, sometimes, musicals cannot) but I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid to audition because if I do, I might not make it in. But then I'd lose that experience to grow on my acting.
I don't know...

I just don't want to be just the funny person anymore.

I think that's why I've been immersing myself into theater lately, because I love it so much. I love being a part of such a bigger thing, and not being a spectator in the audience. Because I'm not Courtney Huffman anymore. I'm a person living their life.
I want to be in tech because I love learning. I love knowing things that I would never knew three years ago, because I was just a weird thirteen year-old girl who thought she knew everything there is to know about theater. I'm so clearly mistaken. I learn new things everyday that I'll keep with me for a lifetime. And I've found out how to be patient. And that's a really hard thing for me to do, if you haven't noticed.

I don't know. I think I just need to get over my fear of failure, because I'll never get anywhere with it looming on my shoulders.
Maybe if I take that first step and try out for Drama 4/Ballroom/MDT, it will go away.
I mean, I tried out for a solo in Choir the other day. I wasn't too nervous. That's the first step.

These teachers here at Lehi High bestow so much self-confidence and courage to do what you don't want to do. I love it, because in ninth grade, I would have NEVER tried out for MDT. I mean, I tried out for Charlie Brown... but that's another story. I was okay with failing. I knew I was going to.
It hurt really bad when I didn't get in Princess and the Pea, but that's because it was a straight play.
But I think I've improved since then.

I really could relate Aerodynamics somehow to this blog, but it's not worth my time, or yours. So goodbye.

Epic? No, it's just me.

I haven't been feeling my best lately.
And I'm not saying I am sick. I'm just saying I haven't been feeling my best. I think it's because I'm just sad that I don't get to do the things that I truely adore. Whether that's ballroom, or musical theater and drama 4(but I do agree, that's because I never tried out for those, or getting to have the opportunity to do Joseph at the Junior High. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy for David and Jared. I just kind of wish I had that opportunity. Oh well.
I'm definitely trying out for ballroom this year. It's whether or not I make it, how happy I will be.
I wish I had never broken promises.
I wish I had the courage to try the things I love.
I wish I wasn't such a horrible friend sometimes.
I wish I was actually good at writing stories or essays and being an english teacher.
I wish I wasn't so annoyed with people all the time.
I wish...
I wish for so many things, I'm greedy. I know I should enjoy the life I have, but when you see your friends excell in all the things they do and you're just the girl that likes cleaning (and doesn't do well in school or has some amazing talent), it's really hard.
REALLY hard.

Just a little proud

It's not the best grammar or anything, but seriously... I love this paragraph. it's kind of amazing.
anyway.
"In America, we go all out with decorations. We get a gigantic tree and put a star on top, not to mention the strings of colorful lights, the red and round ornaments, the popcorn garland, and that tinsle that falls off and gets all over your floor (it’s white, sparkly, and annoying. We all know what I’m talking about right now). On top of that, we have our snowmen with little scarves, our stockings, our outdoor lights, our multiple Santa paintings and statuettes, maybe and advent calendar or two, and a few cute little candy cane holders. I mean, who doesn’t go all out this holiday?"

Okay seriously, does that not make you happy?

Clean clean clean.

Wow... I realized that I love being clean. Haha.
So I washed my sheets last night, then took a shower, and brushed my teeth, and put my clean sheets on my bed and then put clean clothes on, and then went to bed, and i wasn't half as stressed as I was before. Like, no joke. I could relax and fall asleep like during the summer. It was the best feeling I've had in a long time. Maybe I'll do this more.

Sadies

So I wonder if David will ever reply...
It's been over a month now.

I finally got a new brush.
I haven't been able to find mine for like a month.
So my mom got me one.
and headbands.
YAY!

Back to Basics

I went back to the Sims 2.
I'm not saying I'm done with the sims three, I just miss the variety I had in the sims 2.
I had nearly the whole set of Expansion Packs! The only 3 I was missing were the "stuff" packs.
So why not go back? I mean, it's a fun game. Who cares if you can't look around town or go to work with them? You can go to COLLEGE. Who cares if you have design-a-whatever? YOU HAVE SO MUCH VARIETY. Did I mention so really fun expansion packs???

Yeah. So yeah...
Hahah....


I also decided I'm going to start a "Dream book" well, it's actually a binder... But I mean. I have awesome dreams, awkward dreams, scary dreams, and dreams I just don't want to forget; so why not have one? I mean. It's just so fun to have them.
I love dreams :)
It makes me think of "Big Friendly Giant"

Speaking of really good books, i'm reading "The Spiderwick Chronicles" again. I've read them a ton. I already finished the first one. At like 10:36
Not to mention that I started it at like 10:04.
I'm really good with times and dates and stuff....
I mean, it's weird, but I remember when i woke up: 9:23
And I got home from walmart at 12:26.
And Dad asked what time it was at 1:...
Okay, that one i don't remember haha. It was like 1:25 ish.

Alice and Kev

So I've been reading this blog called "Alice and Kev" and the lady ended it not long ago. She invited us to Download Alice and finish the story the way we wanted to and so i thought "why not?"
I'm going to do it someday, but if you want to read it the link is:
http://aliceandkev.wordpress.com/

Head Smashing and Handstands

My head hurts.
Because I fell off my friends back today at Lunch.
On my head.
...
Ow.

So yeah.
But it actually was really funny.


So I'm making a hat :D
It's cool.
And green.
:D

I decided that i'm going to work really hard to do a handstand and all this jazz that you can do with it.
I don't know why, but for the last few months I've wanted to do a handstand.
So there.

Okay, I think I'm going to go just because I'm really tired because my head hurts so much.